Condo Meeting

A condominium development is a shared ownership community. Basically, it's a bunch of strangers who live together in a community where everyone must play by the same rules and pay by the same rules and paint their front door all the same color. It's sort of like life in a fish bowl where Big Brother is scrutinizing your every move and the Decor Police are reporting you for having the wrong kind of flowers in your front yard...or for even having flowers at all. Owners belong to a condominium association and pay monthly dues. The dues are intended to cover general costs, insurance, upkeep and maintenance of the complex. The appealing concept of condominium ownership is that it provides a relatively maintenance-free lifestyle for homeowners. Buyers trade the hard work, expenses and dirty yard chores of a single family home for the carefree and liberating bliss of life governed by condo bylaws and association board of directors.

Here is a compilation of mostly real-life discussions and comments from some typical condo association meetings. And I'm not making hardly any of it up. 

Great news, folks! You all gotta start paying for your own garbage collection service. Yah, we know it was originally covered in your monthly fees when you purchased your condo, but guess what...we changed the rules  ---Board of Directors 

Oh, by the way...we don't have any money left in reserves. ---B.O.D. 

I never read what owners email me...I just delete their messages. ---Condo president. 

Did we mention that we haven't been paying the bills?  ---Treasurer

Sorry, we can't afford summer plants for the eight big landscaping beds at the entrances to our complex. So you're all gonna have to chip in cash, buy the flowers, grab a shovel and plant stuff yourselves.  ---B.O.D. 

But I'm 76 years old and I thought I was buying into the easy life here. ---elderly lady shaking her cane

You thought wrong. Start digging, grandmaw.  ----B.O.D. 

Our spies have reported that some of you water your outside plants with the hose. That's a no-no. We don't care if the irrigation system doesn't always work and the grass turns brown or the flowers die. No hose watering...ever!  ---B.O.D. 

The big spray fountain in the pond is chronically broken. We've never been able to have it repaired properly. However, we will continue to sink thousands of dollars of your money in it...year after year after year after year.  ---B.O.D.

What? You thought your monthly fees were supposed to cover maintenance on all exterior parts of the units? The joke's on you, suckah. From now on, owners will have to paint their own front doors and window trim, repair roofs themselves and clean out their own chimneys. Ha, Ha   ---Property Manager 

What will you do about the asphalt on our private road that's all torn up by the snow plows and disintegrating into loose gravel?   ---a concerned owner. 

You gotta broom?  Sweep it up, lady.  ---B.O.D. 

Garbage service is FREE...but containers, trash bags and city tags will run each owner about $150 extra per year or more. But the good thing is...it's FREE!  ---B.O.D.

How do you define "free"?   ---a puzzled owner 

It's like free to me because I spend most of my time in Florida so I don't have to pay for garbage service here.  ---Condo president 

OK, everybody get your waders on. We're gonna go out into the community lake and rake up all the rocks. Sure, it's hard, dirty work and some of you old folks might have a heart attack. We know we're supposed to hire a professional company to do it, but it's more fun if the owners get wet. And while you're at it, clean up all the algae in the lake too.  ---B.O.D. 

Forgot to mention...we're thinking about having each unit owner power wash their own building. No sense paying a company to do it when we got all these old codgers sittin' around here doing nothing. ---B.O.D.  

Surprise! We've decided to have the homeowners perform ALL the maintenance around here. We're turning the condominium complex into a commune. Think of the money we'll save!  ---B.O.D. 

Far out, man! Power to the people. ---several insane homeowners in front row 

I object.   ---yours truly 

Sit down and shut up.   ---somebody in the front row, staring at me. 

But this isn't right. This isn't how a condo is supposed to operate. ---me

Who's that jackass in the back?  ---somebody else, pointing to me! 

Alrightie then. It's settled. We're commune comrades. Tomorrow, we'll be hauling your old, wrinkled butts outside for street paving and scouring out the sewer pipes. With the money we save, we'll buy goats to chew down the grass.  Meeting adjourned.  ---B.O.D.

                                 















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Indifference

A shocking example of human indifference and lack of compassion was highlighted in the recent case of the homeless man who lay dying from a fatal stab wound on a bustling New York City sidewalk. Did you hear about it? Apparently dozens of pedestrians marched right by him without offering any assistance. There might have been a lot of different reasons why people didn't stop to help the man. Maybe they thought he was drunk or sleeping. Maybe they didn't realize that he'd been stabbed. I don't know if there was a lot of blood or not. I'm not judging their actions. But lack of compassion frequently has its beginnings close to home. With families...not wanting to get involved in a family dispute. Not wanting to create a scene or not offering support to a family member because there might be dissension with the others. Lack of compassion can be seen in neighborhoods...with neighbors who are indifferent and unwilling to help or even acknowledge their fellow residents.

Compassion does not necessarily mean extending yourself on a grandiose scale. Sometimes compassion begins as a basic, warm-hearted gesture. A friendly act of kindness that brightens the day for someone else. Often the simplest things make us feel good. For example, I think it's nice when I'm out in the yard and a neighbor driving by in their car stops for a few minutes to chat. Or when a person out for a stroll...whom I recognize from the neighborhood but do not know...takes time to say hello, admire my garden or offer a bit of cheerful chit chat. It just seems like such a natural, neighborly, affable thing to do. And whenever it happens, it makes me feel good to know somebody took time away from where they were going to carry on a pleasant conversation with me. Whenever I'm out for a walk...even if it interrupts my timing...I'll still stop and say hello to another neighbor. I don't consider these friendly greetings as definitive acts of compassion. And I certainly don't want people engaging me in conversation out of pity. But in a sense, being outwardly friendly toward your neighbors is a small kindness that shows you care about other people. It is the essence of a compassionate heart.

Yet I find it sad that so many residents in most neighborhoods including mine, can't be bothered with this simple form of civility. I'm not suggesting people stop and carry on in-depth discussions. Just a cordial hello and perhaps a few pleasantries are all it takes to instill a sense of comraderie within a community. People in my area enjoy walking and running. I realize that runners are an entirely different breed. So for the most part, I seldom try to engage a heavy-breathing runner in conversation except to offer a smile or a quick wave. But there are many neighbors who leisure-walk by our home on a daily basis. A certain element of them would no more extend a nod or a greeting or a smile my way than they would offer a terrorist a cup of tea. At first, I wondered if it was just me. Maybe these nose-up-in-the-air folks speak to everyone else but not me. Maybe I've become the neighborhood pariah. But after a while I noticed that they won't talk to anybody. They're just downright unfriendly. If I'm outside, I usually say hello as they're passing by. I'm rewarded with a grimacing grunt and then they start to walk faster so they won't have to carry on a real conversation. I'm not kidding. It's sorry. It's a shame. It's disgraceful. It's what brings down a community rather than building it up. It's all about people who can't be bothered...who don't want to get involved...even in something as simple as a friendly greeting. So is it any wonder there are people who blithely walk over an injured man on a busy city street?

Luckily in our community, we also have many, many wonderful, kind and lovely homeowners who will take time to share greetings with their fellow neighbors. But for those who can't be bothered to even glance sideways at their neighbors as they're walking by or toss a friendly wave as they drive along the street...it's not that big of a stretch to imagine that these same folks can't be bothered to help a neighbor who needs assistance. Or that they will never get involved in a community project. Or that they snub the gay couple down the street. Or that they are indifferent to the elderly widow lady. Or that they'd ignore a man dying on a busy sidewalk.....

POSTSCRIPT: A sad, ironic twist to the story of the dying homeless man. Turns out minutes before he was murdered, he had performed a very heroic act. He jumped between a woman and her knife-wielding attacker in an attempt to save her. The woman escaped but her assailant stabbed the homeless fellow several times. Tragically, none of the people passing by that morning cared enough to save the compassionate, good Samaritan who tried to make a difference. Sphere: Related Content

My Big Fat Geek Book Club

I belong to a fantabulous book club. We've been together for almost five years. Our group consists of seven regulars and one honorary member. We're all women. Various backgrounds. Assorted experiences. For most of us, we have faced or are in the midst of challenging circumstances but we are brimming over with a big, fat enthusiasm for life, adventurous books, and fun-loving comraderie. We are spirited, sassy, spontaneous and often downright silly.

Members each take turns hosting our monthly book "gathering" at their home. We all live fairly close to each other so it's easy to get together. We meet at 10:00 in the morning. Unlike many book clubs, our members actually discuss the book at length...for nearly two hours. We all figure that we've taken time to read the book, so why not talk about it and listen to differing perspectives. Some of our best conversations occur when members relate events in the book to our own personal experiences.  The host prepares questions, leads the discussion and keeps the group focused so we don't stray too far off topic. Our group is structured but by no means rigid. We have the most amazing discourses with insightful, thought-provoking and often hilarious give-and-take. We agree to disagree in a congenial manner and we've  learned so much about each other.  Although we were strangers in the beginning, we've now bonded as dear friends.

Our book selections are varied. We don't always choose best sellers. Sometimes we'll pick a geeky classic. Next month, we're reading the Screwtape Letters. I readily admit it was not my choice. But I think it will be an intriguing discussion. We don't always like the book but we do agree to read it and frequently the books we hate offer the most over-the-top discussions.

Our book club has two components. First the book discussion. Then the FOOD. In addition to leading the discussion, the host prepares a lunch for all of us. In the beginning, we decided the "eats" would be a very casual, nothing fancy, non-gourmet, no-pressure type of meal. A simple salad, soup or casserole would suit us just fine. That was in the beginning. Since then, many of our members have taken exquisite pleasure in preparing extravagant and memorable feasts that we're still talking about years later. Many times a member will prepare a lunch that correlates to the theme of the book. Just yesterday, we had a book club gathering where we discussed a book in which the story focused on Chinese culture. Our host prepared a splendid feast of Chinese dishes from egg-drop soup, Chinese veggies, a rice/chicken bamboo shoots entree with home-made almond cookies and Asian pears for dessert. The table was scattered with hundreds of red rose petals for good luck and we each received our own Chinese proverb on a scroll of rice paper. We ate with chop sticks and ended the meal laughing at our quintessential fortune cookie predictions. This is what makes our book club as great and as unique as it is. Another time, our book was a coming-of-age novel about young boys launching amateur space rockets. For lunch, our host served us real astronaut food she'd purchased on the internet, decorated the table with toy space craft, baked cookies in the shape of rockets and sent us all home with goodie bags full of moon rock candies.

We also go on field trips. We went to Chicago last year for a private tour of architectural landmarks that were mentioned in the book we'd read. Another time a member hosted our group in her pitch black basement because the book was about coal miners. For our only light source, she gave us each a small miner's headlight that she'd ordered online. Then she conducted the entire discussion in near darkness as we each held a lump of coal she had given us. It was spooky, absorbing, hilarious and inventive all at the same time. Needless to say, the meeting was unforgettable. As for our honorary member...she works on the day we meet so unfortunately she cannot attend meetings on a regular basis. But she  hosts an annual book/beach/brunch bash at her lake house every summer which is rousing fun for all of us.

I would encourage anyone to start a book club if you're not in one already. It's loads of fun. Members should be committed to attending each meeting but they certainly don't have to be stuffy intellectuals or boring bookheads. The main requirements are a good sense of humor and a willingness to explore different forms of literature. As for me, I don't even like to read that much. I'm in it for the food, the friends and the crazy antics. That reminds me.....an upcoming book deals with fear of flying. Hmmmm...anybody up for skydiving lessons? Sphere: Related Content

Random Thoughts on a 1400 Mile Road Trip

Florida to Michigan. A road trip of nearly 1400 miles. Nine states. Gallons of coffee. An overdose of fast food. Way too many traffic tie-ups. Monotonous highway fatigue. All leading to a weary traveler's quirky random thoughts, observations and ruminations...in no particular order.

• The American highway system is obsolete, hazardous and just plain screwed up. There is simply not enough concrete to hold the massive amounts of traffic that traverse the interstate routes on a daily basis. When you have more vehicles than a road can accommodate, there's bound to be chaos.

• The United States desperately needs an efficient, reliable, high-speed rail system like they have throughout Europe.

• I resolve never ever ever to travel Interstate 95. Bumper to bumper from Florida to the Arctic. Numerous deadly accidents...each grisly scene we were forced to drive by at 5 mph.

• Waldo, Florida...a very sneaky speed trap.

• Stopover in Asheville, North Carolina...the San Francisco of the Appalachians. Where grungies and zillionaires co-exist in altitude-adjustment toleration.

• Best breakfast ever...Tupelo Honey Cafe, Asheville.

• Skyline chili...Cinncinnati's signature dish...is disappointingly bad and packs a wallop of indigestion.

• Who knew the Amish dined out at Skyline Chili? An Amish couple pulled up in an older car, ordered chili and Greek salad and bowed to pray before they ate. Maybe their horse and buggy was in the shop.

• If you lined up all the Interstate road kill end to end, it would reach the moon. Then the smell would obliterate it.

• Nine times out of ten, the really, really slow car in the fast lane that refuses to move over, creating a long tie up behind it...is a Ford Taurus.

• Recipe to relieve boredom: DQ pit stop every afternoon.

• The South seems to have more Dairy Queens than the North.

• On average, Burger King restrooms are cleaner than McDonald's restrooms.

• Clothing sightings along the roadside: 9 single items of footware...mostly tennis shoes. 1 pair of jeans. 3 shirts/blouses. 7 baseball caps. 1 fuscia rain slicker.

• The mountain tops are literally being scalped by mining companies and developers.

• I wonder who litters the Appalachian hills and hollers with old washing machines, broken down church buses and rusty tractors.

• The South has the prettiest and longest spring ever...and the most pollen.

• Nicest McDonalds ever: Van Wert, Ohio. Hip, edgy decor. Upscale ambiance. Leather chairs. Cozy fireplace. Outdoor patio seating. Ultra clean. Friendly service.

• If I stuck my face out the car window going at a speed of 75 miles an hour, would my head blow off?

• Michigan welcome sign: "Pure Michigan". Yippee. All the snow is gone.

• The scenic shoreline of northwest Michigan along the big blue lake with its towering cliffs and magnificent views, reminds me of the California Pacific coast.

25 hours after we began our trip...home sweet home...safe and sound. It's good to be back in Michigan. Our own cozy bed never felt so comfy.

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Ahhh, Springtime in Dunedin, Florida

For a few months during the winter, I reside in the charming little town of Dunedin, Florida. It's a sweet, pedestrian-friendly village overlooking the brilliant blue waters of majestic St. Joseph Sound...on the Gulf of Mexico. With vintage, cottage-style houses, the town is a somewhat sleepier version of Key West...settled over a hundred years ago by Scottish immigrants. Enormous, century-old Spanish oak trees dripping with silvery moss, line the quaint brick streets as people on foot and on bicycles meander along the wide, tree-shaded walking trail that weaves through town. Dunedin is a hidden little gem that often sneaks under the tourist radar screen even though two of the best beaches in the entire country lie just offshore. Some residents prefer to keep the town their own well-kept secret as they go about tending to their azaleas that flourish with abandon this time of year. Here are some of my snapshots of springtime in Dunedin.

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Sign of the Times

"In my many years, I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a shame, 

two is a law firm and 

three or more is a congress".... John Adams

Happy Easter one and all!

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