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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Pumpkin Wisdom


                                                                                                               

Every fall we make our autumnal pilgrimage out to farm country to pick pumpkins from the pumpkin patch. Over the years, we've harvested a good crop of pulp wisdom which I'm happy to share with you now.

  • Pumpkins do not make good doorstops.
  • Sooner or later, we'll all run into an evil scarecrow.
  • Positivity is when your head is carved up into a jack o' lantern and you're still grinning.  
  • The good thing about being a pumpkin is that plump is pleasing.
  • Perfect pumpkins get picked first but odd looking pumpkins are more lovable.
  • Under your arm, carry a homely, mis-shapen pumpkin with plenty of bumps and gnarls...and you'll get noticed at any party.
    • If you're bright orange and can't dance, pumpkin pie is a good back-up plan.
    • Pumpkin chucking is not the same as up-chucking except for the end result.
    • When you're tethered to a vine...you know you're in trouble.
    • Pumpkins make good friends because they look up to you.
    • If you hang around with pumpkins....you're very weird.
    • Life is like a pumpkin patch...you always gotta watch where you're stepping.
    • When you're sitting on the front porch with a candle in your mouth, pulp up your nose and a goofy smile on your face,  you know you've had too much to drink.
    • If politicians were pumpkins, they'd have thick heads and mush for brains. Oh wait...they already do.
    • We all get to shine for a little bit and then our light goes out and we're left to rot in the dirt.
    Pumpkin people are often misunderstood.

    THE END












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    10 comments:

    Oklahoma Granny said...

    I enjoyed the whole list, but I gotta say that last one was the icing on the cake - or the frost on the pumpkin - or whatever. LOL

    KeLLy aNN said...

    lol, that was cute. I totally understand the weird, misshaped Pumpkin...they speak to me!

    Cheryl said...

    Y'know, I guess someone had to say it out loud. It's what we've all been thinking for years.

    ReformingGeek said...

    Hum...I think those are zombies disguised as pumpkin people.

    Hee Hee.

    Or maybe they are simply future pies...which makes me the zombie.

    Nom Nom.

    Nick said...

    And if your a mathematician, your favorite desert is, of course, pumpkin pi - served in many decimal places.

    Fran said...

    Very funny. I was listening to the radio very early this morning (couldn't sleep) and it was a farming programme all about how they produce pumpkins. Fascinating. And it can't have been boring, because I STILL couldn't sleep ...

    Sue said...

    Great stuff! It's good to be edified about all things pumpkin.

    ;)

    Joanne said...

    There's a lot to learn from pumpkins!

    BPOTW said...

    There's a lot to be said for pumpkins! Great post.

    J.P. Travis said...

    Pumpkins, watermelons, and strawberries are three things they cannot grow out west. They think they can grow them, but the results are always poor imitations. Pumpkins are smaller and look like they didn't get adequate nourishment, watermelons look perfectly fine but have almost no taste, and the strawberries (mostly from California) are mammoth, huge, ungainly monstrosities that look like they took illegal steroids during their football careers, but just like the watermelons have little taste.

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