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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Politics in the Pumpkin Patch

                       If politicians invaded the pumpkin patch:

Democrats would: 
  • Allow the federal government to seize the patch.
  • Create a pumpkin czar.
  • Tell the farmer how many pumpkins he can grow and how much to charge. 
  • Offer a mud option to every pumpkin.
  • Weed out and smash the older pumpkins.
  • Give away free pumpkins to illegal aliens.
  • Spread the wealth by ordering the farmer to give a percentage of his earnings to benefit field mice.
  • Determine that orange is not a politically correct color and insist that all pumpkins must be green.
    • Levy taxes on the plumpest pumpkins.
    • Form a pumpkin union.
    • Provide stimulus money to the foxes who roam the pumpkin patch.
    • Hold a National Pumpkin Day parade with Nancy Pelosi as grand marshal. 
    • Ban pumpkins altogether because they look too much like Rush Limbaugh.

    Republicans would:
    • Find a way to convert pumpkin mash into automobile fuel.
    • Bomb the patch because they heard Osama Bin Laden is hiding out there.
    • Nominate Glen Beck as Pumpkinhead of the Year.
    • Give pumpkins the right to vote.
      • Choose a pumpkin as their presidential candidate in 2012.
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      Innocent Owner Of Mad Cats said...

      This whole thing is funny but the one with the Republicans Bombing the patch because they heard Osama is hiding out there made me laugh out loud.

      Char said...

      lol-good one!

      Sandra Wilkes said...

      Might as well make fun of politics. They certainly don't make enough sense to take them seriously!!! Boomers gotta stick together!

      Anonymous said...

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